Ok, so I know I'm just a teenager and there's still a ton of stuff that I don't fully understand, but one thing I honestly don't think I will ever get is how someone can continue and purposefully harm them self when they know the consequences. I'm not going to use the real situation so let me put it this way:
Say there is a brother and sister, and the brother has been drinking heavily for years. Now everyone knows that alcohol can cause serious damage to a person's body after a certain amount, so why do people continue to indulge in it? Who knows. Anyway, the brother is diagnosed with some horrible disease as a result from drinking most of his life and has to have surgery and what not to fix it. He comes close to dying multiple times but makes it through. The sister has also had some drinking problems in the past. (Nothing serious, just the battle of quitting, starting, quitting, starting and so on.) The moment she hears about her brother's condition and the cause of it, she decides to stop drinking right then and there. Good choice. She does great for a while, but a few months after the surgery, she starts with the drinking again. Fully aware of the effects. No apparent care in the world.
For now that's where the story ends. I don't know where it'll go from here but I hope someone can explain to me why she made the wrong decision to start up again. Needing a stress outlet- I really do understand. Believe me, I do. It's unhealthy for people to keep stuff bottled up with no way to let go, but find a way to do it that doesn't cause harm. Go for a walk. Sing a favorite song. Think of someone special. Write a poem. Do something constructive! No matter what you have going on in your life, I'm pretty certain that slowly killing yourself to feel better is not going to help in the long run.
I'm sorry if I'm rambling on or if none of that made sense. I just need some answers.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The Beginning... Or Is It?
I have come to the conclusion that senior year of high school is the hardest year I've ever had. I never realized how stressful it is getting ready for college and such. There's absolutely no room for failure, and it pretty much sucks if you've been slacking off for the past three years. Since I was homeschooled last year, I have a bit more to get caught up on. For example, I still haven't taken my ACT, (which is required to get into college). But I'm taking it next Saturday. Wish me luck! The bad thing about waiting so long to take it is the fact that I can't apply for scholarships (and expect to get them) or schools I want to go to because I won't have the scores for quote "three to eight weeks." Are you kidding me?! I really regret not taking it as soon as I got back last October. But there's no use in wishing things had gone differently.
Every single senior at my school is required to write a senior term paper. Gulp. My class started it about two weeks ago and it's going pretty well. I'm writing about world hunger. Every week (starting yesterday) we have to turn in a certain amount of our paper. It's actually a really great idea, especially for me because I am a first class procrastinator. Having weekly due dates helps me make sure I get it done. And so far it's working. I started writing Monday night which is a huge improvement from the past where I would start THE night before it was due. It's not that I don't like writing, I just hate having a set deadline. Or having it as an assignment. If it's strictly for my own pleasure, ahem, exhibit A, I'm more likely to do it. And it's not like I'm a bad writer. I KNOW I'm good. People tell me all the time that I have a gift...even when I have noooo clue what I'm saying.... Maybe I'll sell some of my work one day....
Other than school, this past year has been hard anyway. I don't remember if I mentioned it, but my grampa was diagnosed with lung cancer in October. Over Christmas break he had surgery to remove the top portion of his right lung and a lymph node. (AND ALL OF THE CANCER!!) The surgery went great, but he's had a really difficult time recovering. I guess he's had pneumonia the past few weeks and no one knew. He was at a nursing home, then the emergency room, then ICU where the doctors had to put him in a coma and on a ventilator. Monday his lung collapsed when they tried to wake him up. But by the Grace of God, Tuesday he woke up and is doing wonderful! Talk about a true miracle. He's awake, hungry, hot, and wants to go home. Ahh, that's muh grampa for you. I love him so much.
My daddy flys back to Guam tomorrow. He actually left on Monday with my grandparents (other gramma and grampa). It was so hard saying goodbye for the second time in almost four months, but I'm so excited to see him again in May for my graduation. I hope the next few months go by suuuper fast.
I suppose I should go study. I have an American Government and a medical biology test tomorrow and three quizs.... I'll leave you with one of my favorite poems:
God bless
The Sick Rose by William Blake
Oh Rose, thou art sick!
The invisible worm
That flies in the night,
In the howling storm,
Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy:
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.
Every single senior at my school is required to write a senior term paper. Gulp. My class started it about two weeks ago and it's going pretty well. I'm writing about world hunger. Every week (starting yesterday) we have to turn in a certain amount of our paper. It's actually a really great idea, especially for me because I am a first class procrastinator. Having weekly due dates helps me make sure I get it done. And so far it's working. I started writing Monday night which is a huge improvement from the past where I would start THE night before it was due. It's not that I don't like writing, I just hate having a set deadline. Or having it as an assignment. If it's strictly for my own pleasure, ahem, exhibit A, I'm more likely to do it. And it's not like I'm a bad writer. I KNOW I'm good. People tell me all the time that I have a gift...even when I have noooo clue what I'm saying.... Maybe I'll sell some of my work one day....
Other than school, this past year has been hard anyway. I don't remember if I mentioned it, but my grampa was diagnosed with lung cancer in October. Over Christmas break he had surgery to remove the top portion of his right lung and a lymph node. (AND ALL OF THE CANCER!!) The surgery went great, but he's had a really difficult time recovering. I guess he's had pneumonia the past few weeks and no one knew. He was at a nursing home, then the emergency room, then ICU where the doctors had to put him in a coma and on a ventilator. Monday his lung collapsed when they tried to wake him up. But by the Grace of God, Tuesday he woke up and is doing wonderful! Talk about a true miracle. He's awake, hungry, hot, and wants to go home. Ahh, that's muh grampa for you. I love him so much.
My daddy flys back to Guam tomorrow. He actually left on Monday with my grandparents (other gramma and grampa). It was so hard saying goodbye for the second time in almost four months, but I'm so excited to see him again in May for my graduation. I hope the next few months go by suuuper fast.
I suppose I should go study. I have an American Government and a medical biology test tomorrow and three quizs.... I'll leave you with one of my favorite poems:
God bless
The Sick Rose by William Blake
Oh Rose, thou art sick!
The invisible worm
That flies in the night,
In the howling storm,
Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy:
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
In Case You Can't Tell....
...I'm in absolute love with Selena and Demi right now. I almost always have one of their c.ds playing. (Loud and on repeat of course.) The songs have such a great message and are pretty dang girl empowering if you ask me. If you're having a craptastic day, just put one of them on and I guarantee you'll feel better. BUT if I just happen to be wrong, any of these others will work. Especially number 14.... :)
1. Tell Me Something I Don't Know- Selena Gomez
2. The Climb- Miley Cyrus
3. Every Time You Lie- Demi Lovato
4. Send It On- Disney's Friends for Change
5. You Found Me- The Fray
6. I Am- Hilary Duff
7. Gotta Find You- Joe Jonas
8. This Is Me- Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas
9. Black Keys- Jonas Brothers
10. Why- Rascal Flatts
11. One and the Same- Selena Gomez & Demi Lovato
12. White Horse- Taylor Swift
13. I Won't Apologize- Selena Gomez
14. Little Potato- Metamora
15. Behind Enemy Lines- Demi Lovato
1. Tell Me Something I Don't Know- Selena Gomez
2. The Climb- Miley Cyrus
3. Every Time You Lie- Demi Lovato
4. Send It On- Disney's Friends for Change
5. You Found Me- The Fray
6. I Am- Hilary Duff
7. Gotta Find You- Joe Jonas
8. This Is Me- Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas
9. Black Keys- Jonas Brothers
10. Why- Rascal Flatts
11. One and the Same- Selena Gomez & Demi Lovato
12. White Horse- Taylor Swift
13. I Won't Apologize- Selena Gomez
14. Little Potato- Metamora
15. Behind Enemy Lines- Demi Lovato
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Remember Me?
Hello!
Wow. It seems like forever since I've been on here. It's actually been nearly six months. So so so much has happened I don't know where to start. Let's see, I guess the biggest thing is that my wish came true. I no longer live in Guam. Exactly one month after returning, my mom and I moved back to Nebraska. We're finally getting settled into our house which coincidentally is just a few up from the one we used to live in. The reason why we decided to move back was because my dad got orders to Baghdad and we didn't want to stay there without him. BUT a few weeks later, the orders got cancelled. So now he's still there and we're here. The good news is his time in Guam is up in August and he should find out where his next station is going to be in a couple of weeks. And since he isn't being deployed, he gets to come to my graduation!
It feels so weird to be a senior in high school. A good weird though. I'm getting really excited about going to college. The process is a bit stressful, but I think I can handle it. I have a few that I have in mind. I still have my heart set on University of North Carolina at Wilmington, but application deadlines are posing a problem. I'm considering South Dakota State University, Metropolitan Community College, Iowa Western Community College, and Missouri Western State University. I'm taking the ACT in February so I should be able to start applying soon after that.
Hmm, what else has happened lately? My grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer in October. He had surgery over Christmas break and he's doing very good. The doctors got all of it so that's awesome. What is NOT awesome is the fact that he broke his shoulder while at the hospital. It's just a hairline fracture, but he's going to be in more pain than he would've been. Praying everything heals quickly.
I think that's all for now. I'm sorry I haven't been on here in a looong time. I'll try to keep up with it better now that life has calmed down a bit. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.
God Bless.
Wow. It seems like forever since I've been on here. It's actually been nearly six months. So so so much has happened I don't know where to start. Let's see, I guess the biggest thing is that my wish came true. I no longer live in Guam. Exactly one month after returning, my mom and I moved back to Nebraska. We're finally getting settled into our house which coincidentally is just a few up from the one we used to live in. The reason why we decided to move back was because my dad got orders to Baghdad and we didn't want to stay there without him. BUT a few weeks later, the orders got cancelled. So now he's still there and we're here. The good news is his time in Guam is up in August and he should find out where his next station is going to be in a couple of weeks. And since he isn't being deployed, he gets to come to my graduation!
It feels so weird to be a senior in high school. A good weird though. I'm getting really excited about going to college. The process is a bit stressful, but I think I can handle it. I have a few that I have in mind. I still have my heart set on University of North Carolina at Wilmington, but application deadlines are posing a problem. I'm considering South Dakota State University, Metropolitan Community College, Iowa Western Community College, and Missouri Western State University. I'm taking the ACT in February so I should be able to start applying soon after that.
Hmm, what else has happened lately? My grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer in October. He had surgery over Christmas break and he's doing very good. The doctors got all of it so that's awesome. What is NOT awesome is the fact that he broke his shoulder while at the hospital. It's just a hairline fracture, but he's going to be in more pain than he would've been. Praying everything heals quickly.
I think that's all for now. I'm sorry I haven't been on here in a looong time. I'll try to keep up with it better now that life has calmed down a bit. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.
God Bless.
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