I've come to the reality that I will not be staying in the states. At the end of the summer I'm going to get on 3 planes and return to my island. I guess in my heart, it really is where I'm supposed to be right now. We only have a year left, so I'll just make the best of it. My mom will be homeschooling me again next year. Mixed feelings about that. But it'll be ok. I am super excited about seeing my babysitting kids though. I've missed them so much. And I actually miss Girl Scouts. It's really the only thing where I feel like I belong, so it'll be nice being back. Some of the girls have moved or dropped out, so I hope it's not too different.
Still dreading the flight. And earthquakes. And tsunami's. Luckily, we haven't had any bad earthquakes and no tsunami's at all. Let's hope it stays that way til we leave there...
Hmm, I'm trying to think of what else to write...
Oh, I got my nose pierced today. I was so scared, but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. My eyes did water, but it really wasn't bad. I even keep forgetting I have it in because it's not even bothering my now. I need to make sure I keep it clean so it doesn't get infected...
Well, I'm listening to Demi's new album right now. It's so good. If you haven't heard of her, you need to check her out. She actually has two albums out. Her first is called "Don't Forget" and her new one is called "Here We Go Again". I'm wanting to see her in concert while I'm here, but I'm afraid I'm going to miss her.
Ok, I can't think of anything else.
Hope everyone is having a safe and wonderful summer!
God bless.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
I Need Some Answers
I don't know if I've said it on here, but I absolutely do not want to return to Guam at the end of the summer. I really don't feel like I belong there. Sure it was nice the first couple months, but vacation's over. Time to go home. I've missed out on so much since I've been there. School has been a disaster, and I don't want to miss out on the stuff that I'll regret not doing later. Like prom and graduation. Every other high-school home schooler makes it look so easy. Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato have been home schooled since middle school, and they've gone to prom and made it seem like the fun, simple thing to do. Maybe it's because they're best friends, and didn't have to worry about people liking or accepting them. Who knows. I just wish it were that easy for me.
Anyway, I got off track a bit... Living in Guam has given me a bunch of opportunities that a lot of people will never have, but I'm ready for it to be over. If I do go back, I don't know what to do about school. Should I finish through home school, or should I go back to my old school? Ugh, I don't know.
Then there's the option of staying in the states. Every where I go, or who ever I tell that I don't plan on getting back on that stupid 21 hour flight, they offer their house to me. Which is awesome, but my mom will be staying with me and I think it will be too cramped to live with someone. So if we do stay, we'll have to figure out a place to live and how to pay for it. There are like 5 possible locations we could stay. All have very good things and very bad things. I just wish I knew exactly what God wants me to do. It's all so confusing. At one point I thought he was telling me to go to Nebraska, but now I don't know. I think my heart is getting in the way, so it's hard to really listen to what he's saying.
What makes matters worse, is that even if I do figure out where I want to go, and how to make that happen, my dad could still say, "Um, nope. You're going back to Guam with me whether you like it or not." And I can understand why he might. He just wants to keep the family together as long as possible. It's bad enough that my brother is going to to college next year, I don't know how well my dad would handle both my mom and I not being with him thousands of miles away on an island.
I need to figure it out soon though. We'll have to have our stuff shipped here, and get enrolled in school, find a place to live, get jobs..... I guess I'll wait and see....
I'll keep you all updated.
God bless.
Anyway, I got off track a bit... Living in Guam has given me a bunch of opportunities that a lot of people will never have, but I'm ready for it to be over. If I do go back, I don't know what to do about school. Should I finish through home school, or should I go back to my old school? Ugh, I don't know.
Then there's the option of staying in the states. Every where I go, or who ever I tell that I don't plan on getting back on that stupid 21 hour flight, they offer their house to me. Which is awesome, but my mom will be staying with me and I think it will be too cramped to live with someone. So if we do stay, we'll have to figure out a place to live and how to pay for it. There are like 5 possible locations we could stay. All have very good things and very bad things. I just wish I knew exactly what God wants me to do. It's all so confusing. At one point I thought he was telling me to go to Nebraska, but now I don't know. I think my heart is getting in the way, so it's hard to really listen to what he's saying.
What makes matters worse, is that even if I do figure out where I want to go, and how to make that happen, my dad could still say, "Um, nope. You're going back to Guam with me whether you like it or not." And I can understand why he might. He just wants to keep the family together as long as possible. It's bad enough that my brother is going to to college next year, I don't know how well my dad would handle both my mom and I not being with him thousands of miles away on an island.
I need to figure it out soon though. We'll have to have our stuff shipped here, and get enrolled in school, find a place to live, get jobs..... I guess I'll wait and see....
I'll keep you all updated.
God bless.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Who Knew?
I'm very sorry that I haven't been keeping up with my posts. I'd like to tell you that I've had a ton of stuff going on, and simply didn't have the time to get on and write. But that would be a lie. The truth is that I don't have a computer readily available, so I have to go to the local library and use their internet. It's irritating considering I've never really had to leave the house to connect to the outside world, and because I have no privacy. People on the surrounding computers seem to think it's ok to look on as I check my email, myspace, facebook, twitter, etc. NOT COOL. If you've ever done that to someone, well, just don't. It's extremely rude. Anyway, I have a lot of information to share, but I can tell you right now that I won't get through half of it at the moment. But I will give you an idea of what's been happening.
Shortly after arriving, I realized I had desperately missed many a thing I never thought possible. Things I'd taken for granted while living here in the states for the past 16 years.
I'll name a few of them:
-Restaurants. (Like Apple Bee's, good MacDonald's, Ryan's, Cracker Barrel, and Shoney's)
-Bridges. Yes bridges. Guam has little ones that go over streams, but I actually miss the site of the huge structure hanging over feet and feet of rushing, (or slowly moving) water. I got an amazing picture passing under one a couple weeks ago.
-Fireflys. I used to love catching and releasing these ever famous "butt-light bugs", as my dear brother used to call them. I saw them flying around a few nights after arriving at my grandparents house. I'd forgotten all about them, and they actually startled me, before realizing what they were.
-Stores. (Target, Wal-Mart, Deb, Sears, Aeropostale, American Eagle. All that I used to shop at, but haven't been inside for over a year and half. Needless to say I went a little crazy the first time we went to Wal-Mart. We've spent at least $200 each time we've gone in since we've been back. Hmm, maybe I should try and control myself so I can get stuff later too... Just a thought.)
Well, there is so much more that I wan to say, but I have to wrap this up because these computers have a time limit, and mine is almost up.
I hope you all are having a safe and wonderful summer!
God bless.
Shortly after arriving, I realized I had desperately missed many a thing I never thought possible. Things I'd taken for granted while living here in the states for the past 16 years.
I'll name a few of them:
-Restaurants. (Like Apple Bee's, good MacDonald's, Ryan's, Cracker Barrel, and Shoney's)
-Bridges. Yes bridges. Guam has little ones that go over streams, but I actually miss the site of the huge structure hanging over feet and feet of rushing, (or slowly moving) water. I got an amazing picture passing under one a couple weeks ago.
-Fireflys. I used to love catching and releasing these ever famous "butt-light bugs", as my dear brother used to call them. I saw them flying around a few nights after arriving at my grandparents house. I'd forgotten all about them, and they actually startled me, before realizing what they were.
-Stores. (Target, Wal-Mart, Deb, Sears, Aeropostale, American Eagle. All that I used to shop at, but haven't been inside for over a year and half. Needless to say I went a little crazy the first time we went to Wal-Mart. We've spent at least $200 each time we've gone in since we've been back. Hmm, maybe I should try and control myself so I can get stuff later too... Just a thought.)
Well, there is so much more that I wan to say, but I have to wrap this up because these computers have a time limit, and mine is almost up.
I hope you all are having a safe and wonderful summer!
God bless.
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