A Bit of Goings On

I've come to the reality that I will not be staying in the states. At the end of the summer I'm going to get on 3 planes and return to my island. I guess in my heart, it really is where I'm supposed to be right now. We only have a year left, so I'll just make the best of it. My mom will be homeschooling me again next year. Mixed feelings about that. But it'll be ok. I am super excited about seeing my babysitting kids though. I've missed them so much. And I actually miss Girl Scouts. It's really the only thing where I feel like I belong, so it'll be nice being back. Some of the girls have moved or dropped out, so I hope it's not too different.
Still dreading the flight. And earthquakes. And tsunami's. Luckily, we haven't had any bad earthquakes and no tsunami's at all. Let's hope it stays that way til we leave there...
Hmm, I'm trying to think of what else to write...
Oh, I got my nose pierced today. I was so scared, but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. My eyes did water, but it really wasn't bad. I even keep forgetting I have it in because it's not even bothering my now. I need to make sure I keep it clean so it doesn't get infected...
Well, I'm listening to Demi's new album right now. It's so good. If you haven't heard of her, you need to check her out. She actually has two albums out. Her first is called "Don't Forget" and her new one is called "Here We Go Again". I'm wanting to see her in concert while I'm here, but I'm afraid I'm going to miss her.

Ok, I can't think of anything else.
Hope everyone is having a safe and wonderful summer!

God bless.

I Need Some Answers

I don't know if I've said it on here, but I absolutely do not want to return to Guam at the end of the summer. I really don't feel like I belong there. Sure it was nice the first couple months, but vacation's over. Time to go home. I've missed out on so much since I've been there. School has been a disaster, and I don't want to miss out on the stuff that I'll regret not doing later. Like prom and graduation. Every other high-school home schooler makes it look so easy. Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato have been home schooled since middle school, and they've gone to prom and made it seem like the fun, simple thing to do. Maybe it's because they're best friends, and didn't have to worry about people liking or accepting them. Who knows. I just wish it were that easy for me.
Anyway, I got off track a bit... Living in Guam has given me a bunch of opportunities that a lot of people will never have, but I'm ready for it to be over. If I do go back, I don't know what to do about school. Should I finish through home school, or should I go back to my old school? Ugh, I don't know.
Then there's the option of staying in the states. Every where I go, or who ever I tell that I don't plan on getting back on that stupid 21 hour flight, they offer their house to me. Which is awesome, but my mom will be staying with me and I think it will be too cramped to live with someone. So if we do stay, we'll have to figure out a place to live and how to pay for it. There are like 5 possible locations we could stay. All have very good things and very bad things. I just wish I knew exactly what God wants me to do. It's all so confusing. At one point I thought he was telling me to go to Nebraska, but now I don't know. I think my heart is getting in the way, so it's hard to really listen to what he's saying.
What makes matters worse, is that even if I do figure out where I want to go, and how to make that happen, my dad could still say, "Um, nope. You're going back to Guam with me whether you like it or not." And I can understand why he might. He just wants to keep the family together as long as possible. It's bad enough that my brother is going to to college next year, I don't know how well my dad would handle both my mom and I not being with him thousands of miles away on an island.
I need to figure it out soon though. We'll have to have our stuff shipped here, and get enrolled in school, find a place to live, get jobs..... I guess I'll wait and see....
I'll keep you all updated.

God bless.

Who Knew?

I'm very sorry that I haven't been keeping up with my posts. I'd like to tell you that I've had a ton of stuff going on, and simply didn't have the time to get on and write. But that would be a lie. The truth is that I don't have a computer readily available, so I have to go to the local library and use their internet. It's irritating considering I've never really had to leave the house to connect to the outside world, and because I have no privacy. People on the surrounding computers seem to think it's ok to look on as I check my email, myspace, facebook, twitter, etc. NOT COOL. If you've ever done that to someone, well, just don't. It's extremely rude. Anyway, I have a lot of information to share, but I can tell you right now that I won't get through half of it at the moment. But I will give you an idea of what's been happening.
Shortly after arriving, I realized I had desperately missed many a thing I never thought possible. Things I'd taken for granted while living here in the states for the past 16 years.
I'll name a few of them:
-Restaurants. (Like Apple Bee's, good MacDonald's, Ryan's, Cracker Barrel, and Shoney's)
-Bridges. Yes bridges. Guam has little ones that go over streams, but I actually miss the site of the huge structure hanging over feet and feet of rushing, (or slowly moving) water. I got an amazing picture passing under one a couple weeks ago.
-Fireflys. I used to love catching and releasing these ever famous "butt-light bugs", as my dear brother used to call them. I saw them flying around a few nights after arriving at my grandparents house. I'd forgotten all about them, and they actually startled me, before realizing what they were.
-Stores. (Target, Wal-Mart, Deb, Sears, Aeropostale, American Eagle. All that I used to shop at, but haven't been inside for over a year and half. Needless to say I went a little crazy the first time we went to Wal-Mart. We've spent at least $200 each time we've gone in since we've been back. Hmm, maybe I should try and control myself so I can get stuff later too... Just a thought.)

Well, there is so much more that I wan to say, but I have to wrap this up because these computers have a time limit, and mine is almost up.

I hope you all are having a safe and wonderful summer!
God bless.

We Made It!

So, after many many hours of flying, we finally arrived in Columbus, Ohio, where my grandparents picked us up. Friday seemed as if it would never end. I woke up at 6 am Guam time, and landed at 4 pm Ohio time. In all, Friday lasted around 40 hours for my mom, brother, and I.
I probably won't be posted very much the next month or so, because I don't have great access to a computer. Once I leave Ohio, I should be able to write more. So, I'm very glad to be home, but not excited about the future flight back to Guam. Not looking forward to that at all. I have a feeling summer is going to go by extremely fast...

Ready Or Not, Here I Come

After nearly 3 weeks of trying to get back to the states, we finally have a way of doing that. The "hop" plan has been dropped, and a commercial route has been picked up. We fly out on Friday around noon to Tokyo, Japan. From there to Detroit, Michigan, then to Columbus, Ohio. It's going to be a long, weird day. Like I said, it'll be close to noon when we leave here, but in the states it'll be that afternoon when we arrive. It'll almost be like the whole trip took a few hours. I believe the longest bit of flying will be 11 hours or so. Shorter than the ride over here if I remember correctly. I hope I get a window seat this time...

Yesterday I went to church with Megan and celebrated the Pentecost. They had a very nice service. For Sunday school, we played Apples to Apples (a sort of card game.) Unfortunately there was a cockroach behind me. Grossed me out big time. It was laying on it's back and kept moving it's antennas... Ugh...

After church, we went down to the U.S Naval Base-Guam (yes that's the name.) We're full of originality here. My old high school is named Guam High School. Seriously. Anyway, we wandered around the NEX, which stands for Naval Exchange, and it's basically a Wal-Mart. That's the best way I can explain it. Then we went to someone's house. Megan's mom needed to talk to the mother. Her daughters, Megan, and I ran down to the park while we were there and got to swing. Apparently Guam doesn't believe in swings of any kind. Oh, it's been so long since I've done that. I also didn't wear shoes. Now, when I was little, I never wore shoes. That's just the way things were. I figured it'd be just like old times. What I didn't know was that the park had a rubbery black top. It wasn't made of tire chips, I'm not sure what it was, but it was HOT. Holy moly my feet hurt. They still do. I could only stand on it for a couple seconds before I had to get off of it. It was still fun though. When we were finished there, we got lunch and headed home. All the while, I got a lot of candid pictures. I tried to get ones that showcased the pretty side of the island. Not the trash and damaged buildings. Maybe I'll get those next time...
Ok, so I was planning on uploading some of those photos to this post, but computer is being temperamental again so I'll have to put them up later. Sorry.

Continuing on then, I suppose.
After we'd be home for a while, my mom, dad, and I went to the mall. More pictures from that outing. We weren't there to shop, but I did go in the book store in hope of finding three SoGoPro book club recommendations. Surprise surprise, they didn't have any. I'll get them in the states. They'll probably be cheaper anyway. When I was done there, we headed downstairs to Denny's. My mom pointed out in the car ride home, that for such an American restaurant, it was a little ironic that we were the only white people there. So true.
Hmm, I'm trying to remember what I did when we got home... I think I listened to music for a while and went to bed. I was pretty beat. But I made up for it today. I slept late and almost burned the kitchen down. Ok, so I might be exaggerating a little. I made french toast, and I didn't know that butter could burn. I'll just say the kitchen got very smokey. Good thing we don't have a smoke alarm in that room.. But the food was awesome! In my book, that cancels out the near disaster.

I better be off. I'll post some of my pictures later.

God bless and good night.

In the Meantime...

Well, here it is, Saturday morning and we still haven't left yet. At this point, we aren't trying to get all the way to the states. Our current game plan is to catch a flight to Hawaii, then try and hop from there, or get on a commercial flight. There was a flight yesterday morning. Twenty seats available. Only twenty. Sometimes they open up more than they say they have. Not this time. One flight to Hickam over the weekend that has been posted. Guess how many seats. Ten. Yes, ten. Now, like I said sometimes more become available, but it's pretty safe to say we will not get on that flight later today. I know I should be positive about catching one soon, but it's getting really hard to be. I could say "I'm positive we won't get out anytime soon", but I don't think that counts. I'm not sure if I wrote it before, but when you sign up to get on a flight, you're put into a category. I don't know what all of them mean, but I'll try to sort them out:

1-Emergency/medical
2-Military person. (alone)
3-Military person and family.
4-Family without military person. (This is what category we're in)
5-Students, maybe? I'm not sure about this one.
6-Retired I think.

When roll call begins, it goes in order of categories from the top. Cat. one is open the whole time, and everyone's name is called down the list until the seats are filled. Lately there have been a bunch of two's and three's. Which sucks for the rest of the people because our names never get called. I don't know how well this makes sense, because it's still confusing to me, and I'm in the middle of all of it. I'm just trying to clear it up a little. Some families in cat. four are trying to get their military person, (for me, it would be my dad) to bump them up a category by going with them to Hawaii and turning around and coming back. If we can't get out soon, I think that's what we're going to do too...

So between going to the terminal, waiting for three to five hours, going back home, and waiting for a new flight, you might think I'd have a lot of time on my hands. And you would be correct. Too bad I'm not using any of it. Getting up super early, or staying up til the wee hours in the morning wear me out, so what do I do when I get home from another failed attempt of getting a hop? Sleep of course! That in turn messes my whole schedule up, so I'm sleeping during the day, and well, not sleeping at night. The good thing about that is when I do finally get back in the states, I won't be turned around. Sleep-wise that is. I'm not sure how long it'll take me to figure out what day it is there...

Other than sleeping my time away, I'm still as-patiently-as-I-possibly-can-be waiting for my SoGoPro shirt. According to my purchase date, it was six weeks Sunday the 25th. But according to the SoGoPro blog picture dates of the packages, my guess would be around Thursday 28th or Friday 29th that they sent them out. I really hope it wasn't lost, or stolen, or delivered to the wrong house. One, because I paid $45 for it, and two, I want to show off my SGP pride...
Maybe I'll get it tomorrow...

I should be getting to bed. I'm actually tired despite sleeping all afternoon.

God bless and good night.

New Song List

1. Everybody’s Fool- Evanescence
2. My Immortal- Evanescence
3. Good Enough- Evanescenc
4. You Can’t Break A Broken Heart- Kate Voegele
5. Manhattan From the Sky- Kate Voegele
6. Angel- Kate Voegele
7. I Don’t Care- Fall Out Boy
8. America’s Suitehearts- Fall Out Boy
9. More Than Anyone- Gavin DeGraw
10. Walk On- Billy Currington
11. Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast)- Lostprophets
12. The Climb- Miley Cyrus


I realize some these are repeats from past playlists, but I really like them. Sorry they aren't very original. But you can't choose what speaks to you, right?

Enjoy and God bless.

(By the way, we still haven't gotten (got ?) out. There's a flight on Friday. Praying to get on it...)

Hiding Place

I cry beneath the blanket of security.
Scared and alone,
from lifetimes of drama
and crisis.
The way I think,
Feel,
Live;
That's all changed into something else.
Something so alien,
I find myself questioning the guest inside me:
"Who are you?"
"Where did you come from?"
She gives me no answers.
Locked away in her room;
my frail body and confused mind.

I've ventured into the unknown.
A place so remote,
no one dares to even make an attempt at finding,
Exploring,
Putting it on a map,
so that those of us who fall victim to it's gravitational pull
can find a path back to familiar territory.

It has a bizarre sort of atmosphere.
So humid and dry.
I feel like a walking skeleton,
scorched from multiple burns.
Heavy breathing to fill my dust filled lungs with cool, clean life.
But like a tree
snapped in a tornado with an F5 rating,
the strange world shifts to a new scene
from a movie I've watched on so many occasions before this,
but is different each time it comes on.

I am cold and wet.
Soaking from the tears, sweat, and rain
washing over my slow moving body.
The precipitation blurs my vision.
Unable to see,
I fall into a black hole.
My pupils are shot out by blinding darkness.
I can't breath or speak.
My screams stay lodged in my throat,
clawing at my vocal cords to escape.
But my ears won't listen in their ignorance.

I find myself twisted underneath my now torn and frayed quilt.
I wait anxiously for my seamstress to repair the damage that's been inflicted,
but she is nowhere to be found.

So here I am.
Left to wallow in confusion and doubt,
as I make this new life a home.
And establish a private oasis.

Maddie

I was watching the news earlier when I learned that there's a new suspect in the Madeleine McCann case. Apparently he was interviewed and cleared during the Portuguese investigation, but he looks remarkably like a sketch of the abductor. HELLO!!! Does it take a genius to figure that one out?! Oh, and he's a convicted pedophile. Come on people! Connect the dots. I guess in a way, all those prayers I made are starting to come true for little Maddie. There is a break in the case, but it should have come months and months ago. It infuriates me how some people are handling all this. The Portuguese investigators essentially did nothing for the McCanns. (I have nothing against the Portuguese, I'm just surprised at their involvement). Also, there was a reported sighting back in September I believe, at a party store. The clerk called the police, but they never went and checked it out! I am just utterly amazed at the actions officials are taking. There is a now-5-year-old girl missing, for pete's sake! The police should be falling over themselves looking for her, and following up on leads. I could go on and on about what I think is right and wrong, but to save you from boredom, I'll move on...

The Fresno/Phoenix flight was taken off, but the Memphis flight is back on. We're going to try and get on that one. There is a flight going to Pittsburgh on Monday morning, but mom doesn't know about it yet. She's still sleeping. (It's 4:12 am Saturday. And yes, I've been up all night. Watching the flight list.) I really hope we get out soon. This is ridiculous...

Another thing that's ticking me off BIG TIME is my dang internet. It does this thing every now and then where I'll try to open a site, and a box will pop up saying "Internet Explorer cannot access 'so and so site'. Operation Aborted." Right now the Southern Gothic blog is doing that. My computer won't open it, and neither will my dad's. So I don't know what the problem is. It obviously works for the SGP team though. They've put up two posts since my little ordeal has started. Maybe I'll be able to read them before I leave. Hopefully...


Please keep little Maddie and her family in your hearts and minds. She doesn't deserve any of this. She needs to be home with those that love and care about her.

God bless and good night. (Or technically morning.)

On Again, Off Again.

I have a secret. Bet you can’t guess what it is. Go ahead and try. It’s a really easy one. Have you figured it out yet? I’ll tell you. I still haven’t left for the states. Were you right? If so, pat yourself on the back. If not, maybe next time.
That dang Memphis flight keeps disappearing and reappearing. One hour it’s there, and the next, it’s gone. Last I saw, it was on for Saturday morning at 5 am along with two others. Those being:
Guam to Fresno, California
Fresno to Phoenix, Arizona

And

Guam to Hickam AFB, Hawaii

My mom said we’re going to try and get on the Arizona flight, that way we don’t have to pass through Hickam, (it can sometimes take a long time to get out of there) and it’s pretty cheap to catch a commercial flight out of Phoenix to Ohio.

Oh Lord, I do hope we get on that hop. Here it is Thursday night, and I was expecting to be in the country by now. (The U.S country and actual country. My grandparents live out in the middle of nowhere.) But instead, I am still stuck on this miniscule piece of land. At this point, it doesn’t even feel like I’m going on vacation. Ugh. I should be riding 4-wheelers right now…

I suppose a good thing about all this waiting would be I might be here when my SoGoPro shirt arrives. It should be here real soon. It’s been nearly 6 weeks. Also, if we’re still here next Tuesday night (we better not be!) I won’t miss the season premiere of Jon & Kate Plus 8. Which is pretty awesome. It’ll be awesome anywhere though.
Hmm. I guess there’s nothing else to do but keep on waiting…

God bless and good night.

It's Only Life

Finding that one person you love with all your heart and that you want to spend the rest of your life with is wonderful. And romantic. And for some, hard to find. Others, it’s really easy. But, sometimes, I can’t help but wonder, “Is it worth it?” Whether you live your life getting everything you ever wanted or you feel like you can’t catch a break, it’s the same; it’s the same end…

We all aren’t going to the same place. I know that. For some, it’ll be heaven. For some, it’ll be hell. A few will probably stick around here for a while. Maybe they’ll get confused and can’t quite figure out where to go. The rest of us might even come back to earth for another lifetime. How a person lives their life can affect that. I believe that. But, what determines your afterlife? Do you always have to be pure and responsible? Loving, polite, a good person at every waking moment? What if you make some mistakes? Or purposeful sins? Is it your actions? Your thoughts? Your friends, hobbies, dreams, lifestyle?

What I want is to have a family. I’ve wanted it for a long time. My reasons are, to me, legit. I want to love something unconditionally. To watch it grow and blossom. Be a great teacher to my (far-in-the-future) children. Not perfect, because no one is. Be the best I possibly can be. And maybe, hopefully, fill this void in my heart. Someday I’ll have that. But again, I wonder, “Why do people put so much effort into living their lives?” It’s not going to matter in the end. Yes I know, the ripples of a person’s actions can go a long way; even the smallest, seemingly unimportant ones. People inspire other people, then they inspire someone, and so forth and so on. But, if you believe in God, or a religious being, or that the world will cease to exist someday, have you ever just once thought about any of this?

I don't mean to sound so morose, because I love life. Maybe I don't love it as much as I should. Actually, I know I don't. The things that I've dealt with in the past, and the things I will deal with in the future make it difficult to accept what life is all about. What it brings. How it ends. It's even harder watching other people, or movies, or shows, and seeing them living their dreams. Getting everything they ever wanted. Thinking about it now, the season 6 finale of One Tree Hill is a perfect example. Lucas and Peyton got each other and a baby, Brooke finally got the mother she always deserved and also Julian, Nathan got the NBA, Haley still has Nathan and Jamie, and Mouth and Millie have each other. Everything turned out ok. But life's not a t.v show, right? Oh, I pray someday I'll find that someone or thing that will change everything for me. Where I don't second guess life and love. Um, there was a voice-over from the last OTH episode, and one of the parts that Peyton says pretty much sums up how I should be feeling. I thought I'd share it with you:

"So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy; because you deserve to be. Believe that."

If you're feeling like I do, listen to Peyton. Her words have helped me out a lot.

Live life to the fullest.
For all we know, this might be our only chance.

God bless.

Waiting. And Waiting. And Waiting Some More.

You know those "What's on your mind" things on Myspace and Facebook? Well at this moment mine would read:
'Really irritated about the hop schedule. Still waiting to get out. Sad about Kat and Ms.Beth moving. Ready to leave, but not finished packing yet...'
That's the condensed version though.
Referring to my so-called flight, here's what's happened in the past few days:
-Sunday-Roll call at midnight. Manifested to Memphis.
Monday flight moved to Tuesday.
-Tuesday-Roll call at 5:30 am. (Same flight)
Moved to Tuesday night.
-Tuesday-Roll call at 7:30 pm.
Flight removed from list.
-Tuesday morning, the only flights going out are to Japan.
Ugh! This is so, I don't know. Unpredictable. That's what sucks about trying to take a hop and not flying commercial. I hope we get out really soon. The great thing about the flight not being tonight is that I'm not going to miss, *drumroll please*,
THE SEASON FINALE OF ONE TREE HILL!!!!
Excited about that. If you can't tell. It's going to be a very sad episode though. It's the last one Miss Hilarie and Mr. Chad Michael Murray will be on. Even if nothing sad occurs, it's still going to be hard to watch knowing they won't be returning. Like I said in a post a few weeks ago, I hope they are given the opportunity to return as guest stars. Or maybe another flash forward to show how they are in a number of years. That'd be pretty awesome. Despite the fact that Miss Hilarie won't be returning, I support her. Her role as Peyton has been such an influence on me and I know that won't change. I'm so glad she started Southern Gothic Productions. Her company already has so many fans behind her. Watch out world. I have a pretty good feeling this will be the next best production company. I'm so excited to see everything the team is working on. I'm sure it'll be great.
I better be off. I should finish packing so if a flight comes up, I'll be ready.

God bless.

A Slight Change of Plans

One more thing about military hops: flight dates can move around. Depending on the person, that could be a good or bad thing. For me, very good. The Memphis flight has been moved to Tuesday morning. Why am I happy about this? Well, I still have some stuff I need to get done, I feel like crap (hopefully I'll be better by then), and I won't be so exhausted. I thought having a morning roll call would mean I'd be flying during the day, but because we're going "back in time", it will be dark. Dang it. If the flight was still tonight, and we took it, we would be flying during the day. Hmm... I think I'd still choose Tuesday if I had the choice.

As you know, I had a girl scout camp-out this weekend. I had guess I had fun. Not the whole time unfortunatley. It was hot, but had a nice breeze. Except in the tent. Made sleeping very uncomfortable. Swimming was a blast, besides all the sea cucumbers (GROSS!!) and sea grass. Plus the water was warm. Not really cold, but not hot. Reminded me of bathwater. I found some awesome shells. And all of them are whole! It's hard to find ones that aren't broken. OH! I had a pet hermit crab for a while. I named him Capernicus. There's a good reason for it. Story time!

My cat's name is Kyah. Every so often, my brother and I call her Capernicus. Why? I don't know. She isn't always all there and needs a little reasurrance sometimes. Like, "Come on Ky, you can come in my room." Well Capernicus The Crab was really into crawling up my arm, and when he'd be right on the edge of falling off, I'd offer my opposite hand for him (her-?) to transfer over to. He'd hesitate, and I'd give him a gentle nudge indicating it was alright to cross over; thus the name Capernicus. I did let him go. The old me would have kept him, but I realized I most likely would have killed him, so I let him go back to his home. I'll put pictures up later. Of all I have from camp.

After hours was the best. Danielle and I were hyper from candy and soda. There were drunk guys at the resteraunt up the road that liked to yell and sing. Danielle and I called them their "mating call". She brought a lantern and we made fun of them by dancing around it singing like indians are known to do around fires. All the while, Briana was video taping us. Fun fun. Despite the fact that this weekend will be the last time I see my troop before next school year, I'm glad I'm home now.

More later.
God bless.

That Was Fast

Ok, if you're in the military, or know someone who is, you may be familiar with "hops". If you have no idea what I am referring to, let me clue you in:

The oh-so-generous military basically offers free rides to different bases. If the flight has enough room for extra passengers, they open the plane to the public. For example, here's what a hop from Guam might entail:

Guam to Hickam AFB, Hawaii
Hickam to Travis AFB, California
Travis to Memphis, Tennessee

(Which is an actually hop plan for this Sunday. More on that in a minute.)

A majority of the hops out of Guam go to either Hawaii or Japan first, then to California. You're really lucky if you get on a flight that's manifested clear to where-ever you want to get to, or close at least. That way you know you'll be getting there soon.
But there are pros and cons about taking a hop versus flying commercial.
Pros:
One, it's a heck of a lot cheaper. (Usually. If you get somewhere and have to do a lot of waiting, you can either stay in the terminal, or stay in hotel, which can add up.)
Two, if you get on a flight with barely anyone else on it, you can sometimes lay flat on the floor and go to sleep. Better than those cramped little seats on commercial.
Now for a few cons:
One, COLD COLD COLD! Now, I haven't been on one yet, but my mom has been on some, and every time, she complains about freezing her butt off. Go figure, they're cargo planes with non-existent insulation. But if you don't want to get hypothermia, you have to wear layers. That sucks considering it's 85 degrees outside...
Two, no real windows. The planes do have little bitty tiny ones at the top, and you have to stand on the seat to see out. I'm the kind of person that has to be able to see out while I'm flying. I get really freaked out when I can't. Not looking forward to that.

To get on a flight, you have to register a few days beforehand, that way the terminal has your information. When you find the flight you want to get on, you arrive at the terminal for roll call. If you aren't there for roll call, you do not get on. There's a chance you may not get on anyway, depending on the number of people that show up, and other circumstances I won't go into. Roll call is typically 2-5 hours before you even board. (Kind of like at a real airport, how they like you to be there a couple hours before).

Alright, so yesterday, my mom and I went to our base terminal to register. She told the man we'd like to get out hopefully next week, and asked what flights were scheduled for Sunday. One around 9 a.m. Too early for us because of the girl scout camp-out. We said we'd keep checking. Now, mind you, I was thinking it'd be at least Monday before a good flight came up. Perhaps even Tuesday or Wednesday. No. I was checking out the flight station tonight, and what do I see? A plane manifested all the way to Memphis. (We're trying to get to Ohio.) I go tell mom, because she may not have seen it yet. She has. "Yeah, that's the one we're going to try to get on. Roll call is at midnight." Greeaaat. There is nothing more that I hate than not being able to see out of a window on a plane except flying at night. Because then you really can't see anything.

Ugh... I thought moving over here was going to be confusing. (Still is a little). We're a day ahead of the people in the states. Actually, Guam's slogan is "Where America's Day Begins." A little odd because technically Guam is part of America. Oh well. Anyway, it's really going to mess me up going backwards because when we leave, in the states we won't have left yet. It's going to feel like going back in time...
This will probably be my last post before I leave. I will try to keep up with writing while on vacation.
Wish me luck!

God bless.

What To Do?

I have awesome news! Guam has finally added The CW to our channel list! Sure the picture is crappy and really grainy, but I can at least watch One Tree Hill on a real t.v instead of on the computer.
Last night's episode was amazing. It had a ton of really great comedy. The only sad part was the end, but I knew it was coming because of all the promos. If you've been reading my posts in any sort of order, you know that I am absolutely in love with Peyton and Miss Hilarie (who plays her). Like a loyal fan should be, I'm really worried about Peyton Scott and baby, but I'm a bit ashamed to say, I cheated. I frequently visit One Tree Hill blog, and I saw some stuff that pretty much gave me the result to Peyton's medical emergency. If you don't know what will happen, I won't say anything.
I'm not going to go into all the other characters, mostly because I need to go to bed soon, but one thing I'm wondering is: Where is Dan? He wasn't on last night's episode at all and I don't think he's ever missed one. Hmm... Maybe he went off and died. At least he won't be burdening everyone next season if that's the case. One more thing, have you noticed that Victoria has pretty much taken Dan's place as town *jerk*? Interesting. So much could happen in the finale. I hope they didn't smush a bunch in it to tie up loose ends....
Ok, done with that. I promise.

I went to youth group with Megan tonight. We played games outside, and I think I jacked my ankle up. That is freaking great considering I'm going camping this Saturday/Sunday... Crap...
Sunday is also the last time I'll see some of the people from my girl scout troop. My co-leader and her daughter are moving to Germany, and Megan and her family are moving back to Nebraska this summer. Sad. Sydney, (another girl from my troop) is moving back to the states too. Um, I think that's everyone. But what really sucks is that I'm leaving for vacation hopefully sometime between Monday and Friday of next week, and all the people I listed above are leaving after me. So I'll have to say my goodbyes before then... Summer is NOT supposed to be stressful dang it!

I don't know if I said in any of my previous posts, but I'm going to Wilmington when I'm back in the states. If you don't know, the Southern Gothic Production crew is there, as is One Tree Hill, and also the college I want to go to. My mom has already said we're going to visit the city, but my idea of "visit" is very different from hers apparently. I was hoping we'd stay one or two days, that way I could go to some of the places the SGP team has been, so I could meet them. (THAT WOULD BE FREAKING AMAZINGLY AWESOME!!!! By the way...) For example: The Riverwalk, Caffe Phoenix, Level 5, I probably wouldn't be able to go into the Market Street Saloon since it's a bar, but I was praying I'd get lucky and run into them. I can pretty much scratch my whole plan out because my mother has informed me that we'll probably just drive around a couple hours (if that), and head on down to Georgia. If you've ever been in absolute love of something, and went to the lengths I've gone to, you can imagine my disappointment when I heard her say that. But what really kind of ticks me off, is that she told me a few weeks ago that we could probably stay over-night, possibly go to the beach, and so forth. Really check stuff out, you know? Sigh. I guess there are certain battles you are just destined to lose.
The good news is though, I'm 95% positive that I'm going to move there after here. Or a year after I finish high school. Like I said, I want to go to the University of North Carolina at Wilmington. What sucks is that my brother will be in college in Nebraska, and as for my parents, only God knows at this point. It'll be a while before my dad gets his next orders. So for now I'm praying that my mom will let me live so far away from everyone.

Well, so much for "I should go to bed".
Sorry for the rambling.
I really am getting off now.

God bless and good night.

Went A Little Old School...

1. Nine in the Afternoon- Panic At The Disco
2. Man in the Box- Alice in Chains
3. Spirit in the Sky- Norman Greenbaum
4. Afterlife- Avenged Sevenfold
5. Detroit Rock City- Kiss
6. Creep- Radiohead
7. Pump it Up- Elvis Costello
8. Something About You- Boston
9. More Than a Feeling- Boston
10. My Own Worst Enemy- Lit
11. Float On- Modest Mouse
12. Orange Crush- R.E.M
13. Black Hole Sun- Soundgarden
14. Welcome Home- Coheed & Cambria
15. Foreplay/Long Time- Boston

If you're a Rockband 1 or 2 player, you're probably familiar with these songs.
If not, enjoy.

Can You Blame Me?

When I was nine years old, some terrorists hijacked four U.S planes. Two hit the World Trade Center, one hit the Pentagon, and the fourth, a few brave passengers took control and went down in Pennsylvania.
Not long before that happened, I watched Cast Away. If you don't know what it is, it's about a Fed Ex guy that goes down in a plane over the ocean during a storm. He ends up on a deserted island for a number of years and eventually gets rescued. I guess that's when I became terrified of flying over water.
Over the years my anxiety worsened. I could only hope that I would never have to leave the country.
Much to my dismay, in 2007 my dad was given orders to report to Andersen AFB. On Guam. Which meant I was in for a very very long flight, most that is over open water.
Thankfully the trip went pretty well.
But considering that I'm leaving in just a couple of weeks to return to the states for the summer, I can't say that I'm excited about the ride. I'm praying that everything will go perfectly on the way there and back. I'm sure it will, but is it wrong of me to be scared out of my mind?
If you have any idea how I feel, could you maybe keep me in your thoughts?
Thanks. I'd really appreciate that.


I'm off to bed.
God bless and good night.

R.I.P Maggie

Monday marked two years since my beloved dog Maggie was put to sleep. I got her when I was about two and a half and she has been a really great addition to our family for 13 years.

Death is always hard to deal with, but I'm happy to say that she is the only *real* one I've had in my life. I don't count my fish.

I love you Maggie and I know in my heart that you are alive and doing well in heaven. Your suffering is over and I'm sorry for everything bad I put you through. You were a wonderful dog. If I could line up all the doggies in the world, I'd choose you every time.

A Much Needed Update- Part 2

Despite the fact that it's been less than two weeks since part 1 of this blog was posted, I have been very busy.

~Thursday, April 23rd- Met the general without looking stupid. (Yay!)
~Friday/Saturday 24th & 25th- Girl scout sleepover. Of which I stayed up until 4 a.m...
~Tuesday 28th- Girl scout meeting and babysitting.
~Thursday 30th- Babysitting.
~Friday, March 1st- Set up for girl scout event.
~Saturday 2nd- Girl scout event. 6:45 a.m-12:15 p.m... 2 hours of sleep the night before. (Actually morning before. Went to sleep at 4 a.m. Seems to be a pattern, huh?) And a sleepover at a friend's house.
~Sunday 3rd- Girl scout award ceremony. 1:30-4:45 p.m. (I'll go more into that later.)

So, as I'm sure you can imagine, I AM BEAT.
Unfortunately, my schedule won't really slow down before I leave for the summer to go to the states.
~Girl scout stuff every weekend. Course it's only two.. Plus four, maybe five or six regular meetings.
~Three more babysitting nights.
~School... Which reminds me, I'm going with the home school route for next year. Let's hope I don't get behind like I did this year...
~Preparing for my trip to the states.
And, I think that's all for now.
I know it doesn't seem like that much, but it is. It's a little overwhelming. No, it's a lot overwhelming.
*Sigh*
Can't wait to get started....

God bless, and good night.

BTW, I plan on putting pictures up from most of the stuff I mentioned above. I just need to upload them to my computer. At a time when I'm not about to fall over asleep. Because it's 1:55 a.m....

The Power of Words

"Make a wish and place it in you heart. Anything you want. Everything you want...
Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from. The next smile. The next wish come true...
But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it...
You just might get the thing you're wishing for...
The world if full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it?...
Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart."

This is my all time favorite quote; courtesy of Peyton Sawyer, Lucas Scott, Brooke Davis, Nathan Scott, and Haley James Scott.
Whenever I feel lost or unsure of anything around me, I read this until I find what I was looking for.
I love the way the words make me feel. They remind me of when I was a little kid because it's like they're saying it's o.k to dream, and have hope, and to believe in the impossible...

So if you're searching for inspiration, or just need to be faithful in something again, these words are yours to find it. Whatever it may be.

God bless.

Dig In and Enjoy

For the past two and a half weeks, I've been compiling a new play list.
Here's what I came up with:

1. Walk On- Billy Currington
2. It's All Coming Back To Me Now- Celine Dion
3. Hide Away- Hilary Duff
4. My Life Would Suck Without You- Kelly Clarkson
5. Please Remember Me- Tim McGraw
6. Angel- Kate Voegele
7. The Climb- Miley Cyrus
8. Don't Laugh At Me- Mark Wills
9. I Love You This Much- Jimmy Wayne
10. Sympathy- Goo Goo Dolls
11. I'll Be- Edwin McCain
12. Hear You Me- Jimmy Eat World

If anyone has song suggestions for me, I'll gladly listen to them.
I'd like to hear feedback from you guys anyway.

Hope you had a great weekend.
God bless.

Letting Go

Tonight I felt like breaking down.
Just releasing all the pain and suffering that I've been holding in for a long time.
When I think back, I've never actually stripped every layer of protection I've built up against all the shitty things in my life.
Of course I have cried as others do; but much less I'm sure.
I've never had the support system one imagines in a "break-down situation".
And I suppose on the one hand, that's a good thing.
I don't have drama, and everything goes perfectly. (Which is so not true).
But on the other hand, it could tear a person apart.
Not opening up to your problem(s).
After a while, it consumes you, and you can't find your way out.
Unfortunately, I'm not too sure where I am in this whole thing.
Hopefully I'll figure it out soon.
And maybe I'll learn to let go.

Many times, I wish life was a t.v show, or a movie.
Where even if everything turns into a huge mess, it all works out in the end.
I think that will be my dream for now.
Whatever happens will have it's own way of working out in the long run....

Well, I should be off to bed.
I had a very very long weekend, and it's only Saturday night.

God bless and good night.

A Much Needed Update-Part 1

Hello all.
I'm sorry for such a long break between my last post and this one. Everything has just been so crazy lately. Anyway, here are some pictures from the last 1-3 weeks:


I absolutely love this one. It's out on the golf course where the wind comes off the ocean, which has caused it to grow bending over:


As I mentioned in a comment on Miss Hilarie's post "Signs", we have boars here. They have a tendency to dig up plants around houses, (including mine) and grass on the golf course, which is where this and the next one were taken:

A close up of the above picture:

And as promised, here are more pictures from Hanging High on the second day. This is one of my favorite photos of my family. My dad was able to go with us on that day, so I was very happy. Too bad my brother couldn't join us...

The facility has a rope bridge and it's a little nerve-racking to walk across. My legs were shaking so bad once I got across. This gives you a bit of an idea of how high up I was:

We called this the "upside down room". Pretty much a smaller scale of the arch wall. Very fun though. Unfortunately, I didn't get much farther than the position I'm in in the picture...

Megan is in the background by the way.

I hope you all have had a great week. I'm planning on kind of doing some of the same posts that the SoGoPro team has done, like book and song recommendations. Still getting them together, though I promise to have more stuff up soon.
But for now, I need to skedaddle off to bed because tomorrow I get to meet our base general.
(Insert whoops and giddy exclamations here.)
Let's pray I don't make a fool of myself...

God bless and Good "what-ever applies to you".

This Or That

I am faced with quite a dilemma. I need to decide what I'm going to do about school next year. Short version: home school again or back to public school. More detailed version: strict home school schedule /or/ back to my old high school here or go to a different high school here (of which there are about four options). Going back to regular school will give me more opportunities, such as prom and interacting with people. But considering my past experiences, I'm really liking home school for my last year of high school. There are pros and cons for each, and what really sucks is that I need to have my decision before the end of the month.
B-E-A-utiful.

Well, wish me luck.

God bless.

"He Is Risen"

Happy Easter! I hope you had a wonderful weekend. This morning Tina and I went with Megan and her family to the Sunrise Service at her church. It was out on the beach, which made it so much more beautiful. Here are some pictures from after the service.

God bless.

Rock Walls Part 2

Another long day of climbing done. Well, not really that long. About three hours actually, but it seemed much longer. I am sad to say that neither Megan nor I accomplished that dang wall today. We will go back though. When and how, I still don't know. But what I am absolutely certain of is that I will get to the top of every single wall in that place. I'm thinking about having my birthday party there. Of course, it's in October, and I'm sure I'll change my mind a million times before that, but right now, it seems like a really good idea. My mom took more pictures, so I'll be putting those up soon. Till then, take a look at this awesome video:

I need a new memory card; this one doesn't hold much, so I ran out of space. As soon as it stopped, he fell off. The side he was working toward is the wall Megan and I were trying to get up by the way.

Rock Walls and T-Shirts

Yesterday my Girl Scout troop went rock climbing at a place called Hanging High. Two hours of climbing is equal to two painful arms and hands. I had a lot of fun though.

Here's everyone from left to right:
Becca, Cheyenne, Danielle, Kat, Megan, Me, Tina, Briana. You can't see Journey. Tyler, Sydney, and Shanna weren't there.
Starting out. We had to learn to belay each other:

The first wall we had to accomplish. I was the very first one up:

Megan and I with Briana and Tina:

My mom really likes this pic. She's going to crop it to make it look like I'm on a real cliff. It's also the wall I whacked my head on....

This was the hardest wall in the whole place. It continues up the whole ceiling and over to the other side, like an arch. We were only aloud to go to the top:

Same wall. Since it was at such an angle, if you let go, you'd slam right into your belayer.

Megan slamming into me from that dang wall:

Megan and I are determined to get to the top of this wall. We'd get about half way, and just run out of energy and good rocks to grab. Our troop is going back tomorrow, so hopefully we'll get it! Wish us luck!

Also, if you notice in a couple of the pictures, there appear to be orbs. Hmm. Not quite sure how I feel about that. I have some others that are just packed with them. I saw them as I was looking through my camera on the way home yesterday. Maybe someone died there... The waiver we had to sign did say death could occur if you aren't careful. Well that'll give me something to think about...

After I got home from my little adventure, I made my Southern Gothic shirt. I had the words printed out so I just had to iron them on. Whatcha think?

(The front says "Southern Gothic Productions")

(The back says "Team Hellick") I was thinking I should add and "in" to Hellick for Austin, but I didn't want to reprint it. I suppose if you move some letters around it could still include him.

Consider It a Gift

I made a little playlist of songs that I am currently in love with. Unfortunately, it looks like I'll be the only one looking at it... Hmm. That's not depressing at all...

1. Stop Making Friends- "Fear" (Abby from NCIS is the lead singer in this band. I had no idea she sang, but she is pretty dang good.)
2. Metallica- "Enter Sandman" (This is my 'creepy' song right now. I don't think the intention was for it to scare people, but it chills my bones when I hear it.)
3. Billy Currington- "People Are Crazy" (As Miss Hilarie Burton said, I pretend he's singing to me. I love country boys. They're my weakness. )
4. Third Eye Blind- "Jumper" (A scene from 'Yes Man' has the main character singing this. It's hilarious! Kinda comedic/serious. I like it.)
5. Josh Gracin- "I Want To Live" (Another country boy. He is amazing! This song gives me chills too.)
6.Bon Jovi- "You Give Love A Bad Name" (Who doesn't love these guys? I may be a junior in high school, but I can say I've grown up with them.)
7. Sick Puppies- "What Are You Looking For" (Awesome song. Love the tune.)
8. Bethany Joy Lenz- "Overpopulated" (I love Joy. She is so talented. This song can always cheer me up. Mostly because it's so true.)
9. Reba McEntire/Kelly Clarkson- "Does He Love You" (Two incredible artists + one already great song = and even greater experience. Their voices are so powerful and different. That's why I love them so much.)
10. The Avett Brothers- "The Ballad of Love and Hate" (This song is hilarious! I could not stop laughing.)
11. Thrice- "Come All You Weary" (It reminds me of a modern day Jesus hymn. Like he's the one singing. Very beautiful.)
12. Daughtry- "What About Now" (Every time I hear this, I play a collage of sorts of Brooke Davis. I don't know why.)
13. Graham Colton Band- "You Find A Way" (Another great band. Not many people have heard of them though. )
14. Bryan Adams- "When You Love Someone" (Mr.Adams sure can touch a girl's heart. I just want to cry my eyes out when I hear this.)
15. Martina McBride- "How Far" (Martina is one of the few that can really hold her own. I love all her songs, but this one is oh so captivating.)

Enjoy!

I'm off to bed.

God Bless

You Can Breathe Out Here

This is just a taste of what I live with. It isn't beautiful everywhere, but when you find it, it's truly breathtaking.

Everyone should experience this kind of freedom and endless boundaries at least once in their life.

I had to share these with you. It would've almost felt like a sin if I'd kept them all to myself.

Enjoy!

God bless.

I'm Getting Very Sleepy...

After pulling an all-nighter last night, I'm finally starting to feel the effects of no sleep for over 24 hours...
Maybe I could take just a little nap- NO! I can't go to sleep. I have to babysit tonight, and I have a bunch of stuff I need to do before I leave.
Sleeping is out of the question.
Resting my eyes wouldn't hurt though..
Yeah. That sounds nice.

NO, NO. If I lay down, just to "rest my eyes", I'll fall asleep and wake up in 3 hours. Which will mean I'd be late, and I wouldn't have gotten anything done.

So no. I cannot rest. I have to stay awake and active for the next 5 to 7 hours... Grrreat.

*Sigh*
I need some suger...

Good News

It's amazing how fast I went from devastated to relieved. I just saw something pertaining to One Tree Hill that's going to make me very happy. I'm not going to say what it was, because I don't want to spoil the surprise. Ah, I can't wait to see the final five episodes!

UN-happy Times

I finished watching the newest OTH episode. I just want to go to Tree Hill, North Carolina and cry with Peyton. (That is, if it were a real place, and a true story...) I never thought a show could worsen my depression, but I was wrong. The wonderful actress that plays Peyton, Hilarie Burton, is probably not coming back for season seven. That is so very upsetting because Peyton is pregnant, and it's very likely that she's going to die. The most recent promo for episode 19 and the ones following made me cry, and I never do that. I'm trying to prepare myself for some sad, sad days. Peyton, A.K.A Hilarie, helped me get through a lot of really bad times. I realize she's now a 23 year old on the show, but she's still my rock and secretly private therapist. I don't know what I'm going to do when she's gone. Hopefully the writers will bring her back for a bunch of special guest appearances... But, considering Keith has only been brought back two times, it does not look promising... I guess I'll wait and see. Kinda have to.

God Bless.

Bitter Sweet

The last couple days have been a multitude of good and bad. I'd have to say the best thing that happened was my daddy came home. He's been in Thailand for almost four weeks. It's really great to have him back. Unfortunately though, I was sick as a dog the morning/night he arrived. I spent a lot of time sleeping on Friday.
Today was a little better. There was a "demonstration" at the flight line this morning. It was pretty cool, but I must have misunderstood when I first heard about it. I thought some of the planes, including the B2 Bomber, would be flown. I was wrong. In my opinion, it would have been much more entertaining if they'd included a mini air show, but it was still fun. The EOD squad, flight line firefighters, and canine trainers came out. Two F-22s, a B2 Bomber, and another really, really big plane were there too. It was awesome to see the Bomber up close. It looks so flat in the sky, but it's actually kind of fat.
Afterwards, mom, dad, and I went to the BX to check for more NCIS seasons. They had numero dos. The one we already have. Great. We'll have to look somewhere else I guess...

Hope you have a good rest of the weekend.
God Bless.

A Little Advice

Life is short. You never know when or how it's going to end. Now is the time to say"I love you" to those you care about. Don't sit back waiting for the right moment to go after your dreams. You may think you have all the time in the world, but in reality, you don't. I don't want to come off as pessimistic, but as far as we mortals know, we only have one chance to live life how we want. That doesn't mean go out and put yourself in danger. Make your life worth it; because it is. Consider how others view you. Would they want to be in your shoes? If not, how can you change that? Sure, you don't have control over every single aspect in your life, but you do have a choice. And I am pretty sure that where ever you are at the moment, you helped put yourself there. The point is, you shouldn't wait to live your life. If you aren't happy with your situation, just remember:
"Everyday is another chance to turn it all around."

So go for it. Live life to the fullest.

God Bless.

"To Make A Mountain of Your Life is Just a Choice"

Referring back to my last blog, I looked up the organization I mentioned, which is called Children To Children, and it was started by Makenzie Snyder. It's pretty dang close to my idea, except she only collects duffel bags and stuffed animals for foster kids. If you want to learn more about it, she has a website, http://www.childrentochildren.org/. She was seven years old when she set out on her endeavour. Seven! That is slightly above awesomely spectacular for someone at such a young age if you ask me. I wish I was that amazing when I was seven...

It turns out that one can start a drive for bags and stuffed animals in their city/town and send the proceeds to Makenzie where they will be distributed to kids who are in need of a bag and a friend. I'm thinking that's what I'll do, but I'm really worried about how the donors will feel about the items not staying here for the kids that need them in our community. Since I don't actually live in the United States, I can't help but second guess my potentially good deed. I'll give it some thought, and definitely talk to the person in charge at child services.

All day Saturday my mom and I were down at the girl scout office getting recirtified for infant, child, and adult CPR, and first aid. It started at nine and ended at four. Long, long day. But the instructor did have her infant son with her, so that made it all good. Plus the warm feeling of knowing I'll have a better chance of saving someone in the event of an accident.
'What did I do when I got home', you may ask. Slept of course. I seem to be doing that a lot lately, and I mean, who doesn't love sleeping, but I'm sure it isn't normal to want to sleep all the time. Just sleep. I should get that checked out. Great. Another thing added to my list.

The new One Tree Hill episode was freaking amazing! It was different from the other episodes, like five shows in one, but it added a lot to the story-line. Worried about Leyton, Julian is a jerk, hate Dan, love Naley, don't really care for Moullie. Can't wait to see the next one, which I believe is tonight. So I'll be watching that in a few days.

I didn't get much school done today, but I did get my stuff organized. Which is a good thing. The only subject I'm caught up on is psychology, so I have a long road ahead of me. I'm hoping to be completely on track by the first of April, and in order to accomplish that, I'll be working my butt off till then. It'll be great to be where I need to be, but for someone that hates doing school work, I'm in trouble. Big trouble... *Hence my blog title. I got myself into this mess, and it's up to me to find my way out.*

If you've heard of Maddie McCann, please keep her and her family in your hearts and thoughts. I believe she's still alive, although she's been missing since May 3, 2007. She's only five years old, and she deserves to go home to her mom, dad, and younger brother and sister. If you pray, please include her. Heaven doesn't need another little angel girl.

*B.T.W, SGP has been working on my computer since Thursday or Friday. Finally!*

God Bless.

For the Kids

A few weeks ago, I read A Child Called "It". If you've never heard of it, it's a true story about David Pelzer and one of the worst child abuse cases in California. In 1991, there were over 2.5 million cases reported. The book got me thinking about all those kids, and I decided I was going to do something to help them. Unfortunately, there's only so much a person or organization can do. Anyone with half a brain knows that child abuse, or any sort of abuse is wrong, but that obviously doesn't stop a lot of people. I suppose trying to start more prevention programs could possibly help, but I don't have the know-how to do that. So I've been searching for somthing I could do to help child abuse victims, and I finally came up with the perfect idea last night.

I was laying in bed, thinking back to David and how he got out of his abusive environment. He was taken straight from school and never went back to his house. I imagine that's the way many cases are handled to prevent the abuser from taking the kid or kids before the authorites can get them. Anyway, most kids probably don't have a chance to get stuff from their house before leaving, whether it be a stuffed animal, a blanket, a picture, whatever, and I'm sure they'd like somthing comforting to help with the journey.

So I came up with the idea to start a program that collects toys, backpacks, coloring books, crayons, blankets, clothes, whatever they may need to get them started. It could be completely based on donations, and if people want to give money, that's fine. The more means, the better.
Then I got to thinking,

"It's gonna suck big time if someone already thought of this".

And that's when it hit me. Someone did. I remember reading about it in Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul. So I assumed I was back at square numero uno, but just when I was about to give the whole thing up, I realized I could try to contact the person that started the original program, and with her permission, I could maybe start a branch here, and/or where-ever I end up. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. Actually I think she'd welcome the help.
Time to make a difference.

How Much Did I Really Accomplish Today?

So, despite the mile long list of things that I needed to do today, everything turned out somewhat ok. I still have pretty much nothing crossed off on my infamous "to-do" list, but I am making progress. Kind of... I am so behind on school, it seems like I'll still be doing all my subjects during the summer. So that sucks. Big time. I have work I need to get done for girl scouts which really shouldn't be at the top of my "have to do now" pile, but I have to say, it's much more fun than doing something absolutely required. Like school.

Moving on. I can now say that I have successfully babysat a 4 year old, a 3 year old, a 2 1/2 year old, and a 16 month old all at one time. Alone. Sure, there were times I couldn't even hear myself think, a few spills, and the all time favorite boo-boos, but the important thing is that I survived and I don't think there will be any lasting damage on the kids. Plus I got free food and $35!

Putting reality aside, the newest episode of One Tree Hill aired tonight, or technically it'll be tomorrow. But I know I am soon to have a very special date with Youtube in just a few short days. I am so excited! Why do I have to watch one of my favorite shows on a 3"x6" screen on the internet? Well it's because the speck of land that I am currently living on does not have the station that airs the new episodes of this lovely "free escape from almost all of it" show. And I bet the minute I move from here, it'll be added to the list of channels. I guess that's life...

So it is now 12:51 am, and I suppose I should get to bed. SGP is still not working on my computer. I think it may have something to do with the feed. Or whatever it is that allows sites to show up one's com. But the wonderful Hilarie Burton did post a video sometime in the last 24 hours or so which made me smile. If you'd like to smile too, give her vlog a looksee.

God Bless and good night.
Or morning. Or day.
Which ever one applies to you.

My First Rant

I'm soaking wet, and I'm pissed. Not a good combination. Today was supposed to be my day and she totally ruined it. Why do kids like her so much?! I'm fun and nice, but they never warm up to me like they do to her. Ugh, it just makes me so mad. Why did I ask her to come? Then I would've been alone with 7 kids. Ok, so maybe she did help, but she didn't have to steal my spotlight dang it. This happens every fricken time. And I'm getting really tired of it.
*SGP is still not working on my computer. Great.*

Can't Live With It, Can't Live Without It

So I just checked SGP again, but on my dad's computer and it's working fine. Maybe they fixed it. Or it's just my stupid computer acting up like always. I'll go try to pull it up on mine again... Ugh, still nothing. I turned my computer off, so hopefully that'll set it straight... Darn technology.

Procrastination

Not much has happened today so far. Of course I've only been awake for a little under an hour... But that's beside the point. I have a crapload of stuff I need to be doing and I know I won't get it all done today. First and probably the most important thing is to get caught up on all of my school work. I've taken off 2-3 weeks of chemistry, history, and home ec. I should really get on that... SGP (Southern Gothic Productions) still isn't working. I think I'm going to restart my computer to see if that helps. Or check it out on another computer. Maybe they're just having problems with the site. But they've posted new stuff... I dunno, but it is really irritating me...

And So It Begins...

Well, I've always thought about blogging, since I tend to hold so much in, but what really convinced me to start was when I tried to check out Southern Gothic Productions, and it wouldn't let me see everything. I am hoping that having my own blog will change that. What confuses me is that I've been checking out their blog since it started, and all of a sudden it was being difficult. Oh well. Even if the site is just having a glich of some sort, I'll keep mine going. So, wish me luck! I'll try to update every few days if not every single day. Here goes something!