Letting Go

Tonight I felt like breaking down.
Just releasing all the pain and suffering that I've been holding in for a long time.
When I think back, I've never actually stripped every layer of protection I've built up against all the shitty things in my life.
Of course I have cried as others do; but much less I'm sure.
I've never had the support system one imagines in a "break-down situation".
And I suppose on the one hand, that's a good thing.
I don't have drama, and everything goes perfectly. (Which is so not true).
But on the other hand, it could tear a person apart.
Not opening up to your problem(s).
After a while, it consumes you, and you can't find your way out.
Unfortunately, I'm not too sure where I am in this whole thing.
Hopefully I'll figure it out soon.
And maybe I'll learn to let go.

Many times, I wish life was a t.v show, or a movie.
Where even if everything turns into a huge mess, it all works out in the end.
I think that will be my dream for now.
Whatever happens will have it's own way of working out in the long run....

Well, I should be off to bed.
I had a very very long weekend, and it's only Saturday night.

God bless and good night.