Tune Tuesday 15

All the Poor and Powerless

 

All the poor and powerless,

And all the lost and lonely.

All the thieves will come confess

And know that You are holy.

And know that You are holy.

 

And all will sing out, Hallelujah.

And we will cry out, Hallelujah.

 

All the hearts who are content,

And all who feel unworthy,

And all who hurt with nothing left

Will know that You are holy.

 

And all will sing out, Hallelujah.

And we will cry out, Hallelujah.

 

Shout it.

Go on and scream it from the mountians.

Go on and tell it to the masses-

That He is God.

 

We will sing out, Hallelujah.

And we will cry out, Hallelujah.

 



Hanging On

It's been nearly six months since my grandpa went home to Jesus and just over three months since my cat Kyah joined him. Most days are better than others but every now and then the realization of their deaths hits me out of nowhere. Other than my dog Maggie (who was really my mom's), I had never had to deal with death. I never knew what to say to friends when they lost grandparents or pets, but could only offer my comfort and support. Even now I have no idea what to say or do to make others feel better. I think that's because there was nothing anyone could do for me.
Grief is kind of a cruel thing. It comes and goes as it pleases and there is no cure for it. Today has been a hard day. I keep replaying the night my grandpa died, how I wish I had been the one he woke up for. I keep thinking about the moment I saw Kyah when I got home after my mom called me with the news. Most of all, I keep thinking about saying goodbye. The night/morning my grandpa died, I was in some sort of daydream. I knew it was coming, he had been sick for a while, but it still hurt. I did good over the next couple of days until the visitation day. It was an open casket. I don't know what I was expecting, but as soon as I saw him I broke down. Later, when I would see my cousin or my mom or aunt holding his hand and kissing him, I kept thinking to myself, ''that isn't him! He isn't here anymore!'' I was so angry at them and I still don't know why...
I find myself missing him at weird times. Memories will creep up on me, like when we went to the zoo, walking beside him at church, watching t.v. with him. The craziest thing I miss about him is this thing he used to do to my wrist: he'd ring it with both his hands and make this noise with his mouth. It only hurt a little but I loved it. He hadn't done it since I was little and I have tried multiple times over the years to replicate it, but have failed everytime. Today I realized I would never experience that again.

Everyday is a struggle. Sometimes I can't even get out of bed. I try to praise God through all of this but....it's hard. At times I wish we didn't have emotions like grief and sadness, but I figure God gave them to us for a reason. I feel guilty sometimes for missing Kyah and my grandpa, but then I remember how Jesus reacted to his friend Lazarus' death: He wept. Jesus was God. And he was upset. That verse blows my mind everytime I read, hear, or say it. It also lets me know that it's ok to grieve. That it's good to grieve. As much as it hurts, it actually hurts more to keep it in. Something I often forget. ''I'm running to your arms. I'm running to your arms. The riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace. Light of the world forever reign.''

Tune Tuesday 14 (Wednesdy)

Worn

Tenth Avenue North

 

I'm tired I'm worn.

My heart is heavy

from the work it takes

to keep on breathing.

I've made mistakes.

I've let my hope fail.

My soul feels crushed

by the weight of this world.

 

And I know that you can give me rest.

So I cry out with all that I have left.

 

Let me see redemption win.

Let me know the struggle ends.

That you can mend a heart

that's frail and torn.

I wanna know a song can rise

from the ashes of a broken life

and all that's dead inside can be reborn,

cause I'm worn.

 

I know I need to lift my eyes up

but I'm too weak;

life just won't give up.

And I know that you can give me rest.

So I cry out with all that I have left.

 

Let me see redemption win.

Let me know the struggle ends.

That you can mend a heart

that's frail and torn.

I wanna know a song can rise

from the ashes of a broken life

and all that's dead inside can be reborn,

cause I'm worn.

 

My prayers are wearing thin.

Yeah, I'm worn.

Even before the day begins.

Yeah, I'm worn.

I've lost my will to fight.

I'm worn.

So heaven come and flood my eyes.

 

Let me see redemption win.

Let me know the struggle ends.

That you can mend a heart

that's frail and torn.

I wanna know a song can rise

from the ashes of a broken life

and all that's dead inside can be reborn.

Cause all that's dead inside will be reborn.

 

Though I'm worn.

Yeah I'm worn.

 

Tune Tuesday 13

Restore- Chris August

 

Nobody's growing old together, we've made it easy just to quit.

Love has become a negative percentage, why do we bother to commit?

We've got a long list of excuses, ways we try to justify.

Well, I propose to you the truth is, marriage does not have to die.

 

I know you're feeling like it's falling apart and it can't go on anymore.

But God is a God who knows how to heal so just give it up to the Lord,

And He will restore.

 

He said with this ring I promise, and with I do she said forever.

But right now if they're being honest they don't know if they'll stay together.

Let's fast forward to the future after struggling on their own.

They finally figured out they needed Jesus in the middle,

Now I'm watching God rebuild their home.

 

I know you're feeling like it's falling apart and it can't go on anymore.

But God is a God who knows how to heal so just give it up to the Lord,

And He will restore.

 

The enemy tries to come and divide,

trying to get us to give up the fight.

But darkness will always lose out to light,

'Cause we've got the power of Christ on our side.

 

I see you growing old together.

I pray I find a love like yours.

 

So if you're feeling like it's falling apart and it can't go on anymore,

 God is a God who knows how to heal so just give it up to the Lord,

And He will restore.

 

Like it was before.

You may have strayed off course.

But He will restore.