"I am the worst of sinners." I hate this statement. Something about it screams the desire to win the "my mistakes are bigger and I have more guilt therefore I need more grace than you" race. Sin is sin. I struggle with defining which ones are worse, like, murder is a bigger deal than making a snide comment, or cheating on a test is more acceptable than cheating on your spouse. But what if sin is not defined by comparing it to other people but to one's self? My greatest sin might not even be on the list of someone else's sins and vice versa. So why do we often present them as proof as to why God should (and does) extend grace? And why do we judge others so harshly when it is ourselves we should be taking a good look at? I don't believe there can ever be a worst sinner. It's all relative. You yourself can have a worst sin; one that consistently pulls you away from God, but to say that it makes you the absolute worst isn't possible. There is no way to measure that.
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in you own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." -Matthew 7:1-5. To say that I judge would be akin to saying I am the worst of sinners. It's moot. Every person who has ever walked the earth judges. We judge big things, little things, things that have nothing to do with us, and things we know nothing about. And for what? To feel better about our own failures? Or maybe to help us cope with the fact that we aren't alone in those failures. For me, it's so much easier to pass judgment on others when I'm feeling pretty good about myself. "Oh, look at so-and-so. Don't they know that doing such-and-such is a sin!? I'm so glad I'm not like that." I wish someone would smack me across the face whenever that runs through my mind. What right do I have to condemn? On the flip side, it makes me so angry when others pass judgement on me. Again, what gives them the right? When this happens, I have to remind myself that it's just like Jesus said. Judge and you will be judged. But we live in a fallen world. Judgment was an unfortunate consequence and it is unavoidable. Just like sin. Even though I and other followers of Christ have been remade, reborn, justified, whatever term you want to use, we still have a sin nature. It's hard-wired into us, and no amount of obedience to God will ever change that. However, we can choose whether to submit to it or fight it.
One of my favorite people to listen to at school is a guy named Richard or as I fondly call him: Babycakes. He talks about sin a lot. Our struggle to stay away from it, Satan's persistence at keeping us in it, and God's mighty hand to pull us out of it. He hits me every single time, and while it's usually hard to hear, I appreciate that he's able to stand before his peers and speak in such a way and on such a topic that most people would rather stay away from. It's like he's reading my thoughts. It's kind a of creepy, actually, but in a good way. I'm more likely to be convicted and willing to hear when the speaker understands temptations. A huge difference between those who know Jesus and those who don't is the response to sin. Babycakes said there are two paths in life, and sometimes they overlap. 1)Slave to sin. Satan is walking around you with a whip to keep your eyes on sin and away from God. And 2)Life in the Spirit. Having that feeling of peace when you shouldn't. Like something bad happens, but you feel great. Oh, how wonderful it would be to always be on the second path, but once again, sin is inevitable. Satan knows that and he uses it against us. When we do slip up, he plants a lie in our heads. "I am worthless. I am unredeemable. I have exhausted God's grace toward me." But guess what. "God doesn't see our sins anymore. WE ARE FREE."
*On a side note, it's a total God moment right now. East To West by Casting Crowns is playing on the radio as I write this. Ahh. Love my God.*
Where was I? Oh. We don't have to be slaves to sin! We have the ability to choose who will be our master. We also have the ability to choose how we will react to sin, be it our own or someone else's. (This is where the whole plank/sawdust thing comes in.) Think of something you judge others for. Maybe you get really bent out of shape when someone is rude to you. Now think of all the times you have been rude and the reasons for said rudeness. "Well I was having a bad day." So? Did you stop to think that maybe they were having a bad day too? This is a simple example, but hopefully you get the idea. Even so, whether it is a big sin or a little one, the feeling of guilt and shame shouldn't keep us from God. When we feel like that, "God still holds out his hands." How amazing is that?! Even when I feel like a complete waste of God's grace and love, He still adores me. He draws me near and comforts me. Best of all, He convicts me. I know, I know. How can that be a good thing? Well, if He didn't convict me, who would? How would I feel bad about my sin and turn away from it if He didn't lead me to? He also uses conviction to keep me from judging others. That little twinge of "ooh. I shouldn't have looked down on her for that." comes from Him. That's His gentle or sometimes, not-so-gentle way of saying, "you have no authority to judge them. That's my job." I love that. I need that.... We all do.
So. To recap: Don't judge. We all sin, but we can choose to live in the Spirit. When we do sin, God still loves us. Conviction is a good thing.
This turned out a whole lot longer than I planned, but oh well. Hope I didn't lose any of you. God bless. =)
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